21

I turn 21 today, Akshay Kumar turns 43. As usual I have no excitement of the birthday yet again. It is pleasant for rather distant entities to wish you like 160by2.com, Career Launcher no matter its automated. My vow of keeping the phone switched off lasted exactly 1 hour. Nothing against anyone but I didn’t want to talk to anyone this time, also my inability of never being able to end the call in time lets them stretch to eternity.

Well, a lot has happened this time around. Metaphorically speaking, a kid was thrown into a war but not allowed to fight. All he could see was his side getting barraged down by a ruthless, heartless opposition. Just when the time for offensive arrived, when his blood boiled to the limit, he got a shot of reality. Some one under the veil of being a victim was calling the shots, using everyone around for their advantage. All one could do was smile as how easily he lost the faith that he was fighting for the truth. He thought he was the Krishna of this Mahabharata, guiding Arjuna to do the right thing by picking up weapons against his own but here both Krishna and Arjuna were nothing but puppet soldiers. He lost his faith in humanity, righteousness forever.

Coming back to reality, my forgetful memory will once again help me get over it. The lack of concentration which has troubled me since childhood (a completely different story enfolds in my mind all the time no matter what I am doing) is my biggest weakness, also contributing to the fact that I only remember those things which I recall again and again (normally consisting of bad memories only). But I think this can be my biggest strength as once again while driving I got another idea which can really change the world. But it needs a lot of time, which is not what I have right now, though I will try my best to work on this one.

My dream company didn’t even shortlist me based on resume and cover letter. So all those rumours about marks being an important criteria were indeed true. People put in fake points on their CV, girls with boy friends there got shortlisted, the fashion parade team got in. The process ahead was a sham with the same repeated case studies and guess estimates asked, as if they were sure whom to take. Seems like these companies don’t want to test the candidates as they think that anyone and everyone is good enough to work for them. I am not looking for excuses, I spent 2 years moulding myself into what could have been a better suited candidate to that work but they took the easy way out. Anyways the selected candidates are pretty good though all I wanted was a chance to prove myself.

To forget this disappointment, I watched 3 movies in the night and appeared for the next company sleepless with a similar kind of work profile which I hate less. Somehow after a long day I got selected into it, though lack of sleep and food had impaired by vision, hearing and thinking capacity pretty badly. So now everybody is getting highly paying jobs and I am at the lower end of the A++ job category spectrum just because I did not want to code and the placement policy ensures that I am not allowed to sit again for a long time.

What lesson can one learn from life when you don’t get the things you work hardest for, be it this job (spent days and nights on the CV and cover letter), the 2000 word for a competition of IHC. With all doors closed now, CAT is the only option left.

In earlier times renunciation meant going to the Himalayas but now its going off Facebook. Well, it’s a temporary decision for me, got tired of pulling each and every one’s leg. It isn’t such a big occasion to use terminator’s legendary ‘I will be back’ dialog.

As for CWG, after not assigning me any duty, they realized their mistake and have put me in Protocol at the airport. Got the uniform today as birthday gift from their side. One point that I completely missed and was made to realize by Mayank was that at the airport there would be AIR HOSTESSES. A month ago I would have jumped at this, but not now when my interest in girls is at an all time low, so is my self confidence.