22

Happy Birthday Akshay Kumar, you turn twice as old as I am today.

Recently a friend scanned through the posts running with the titles, at that time I realized how unwise it is not to have a title for a post. It is like a book without cover. This post is something in continuation with the previous post 1 year ago, so is the title.
http://sahilkablog.blogspot.com/2010/09/21.html

Since the last 8 months or so, I have been uncomfortable, agitated whenever career talks used to spring up. Yes, mistakes have been made. But there is no going back. Nearly everything would have to be changed if I could go back in time and change them. I observed that this frustration often used to rise up whenever I used to talk to people. Yet again an anomaly as normal people are at peace with others and agitated within. One of the books that was of immense help was 'Stories from here and there' compiled by Sunil Handa. It had 450 short stories to be devoured slowly, so that the morale seeps in, unlike me who gorged about 50 of those at a time, mixing up everything.

This is the edited and pruned version of the post that would have been posted had it not been languishing in the drafts column for so long. It would have been another in the line of morose posts, couldn’t have helped it as nothing good was happening in my life although my love for action packed cinema and sad songs where the guy loses the girl stays as it is.

But yes, things have improved this time around. On dad's birthday, I became a mama too. Had an exciting 1.5 months with Utkarsh (they overrode my suggestions of a Rajasthani royal name). He has been lucky for all of us. I don't plan to switch off my phone today.

I got a better job (let us not take names), although it is still paying the lowest amongst all my friends leaving out Prashant who is studying at home and will soon crack the civil examinations on the sheer dent of his determination. The process was grueling. CV shortlisting, then an impromptu telephonic interview, followed by 3 interviews at a stretch, then the customary HR interview where I made a fool of myself. This wasn’t all, there was more. I was then called up for another telephonic interview with someone in the USA and once again later on for another session with their India MD. The following HR interview was better as they themselves raised the offer. But after the entire struggle I made it and that is what matters. The office is in Delhi (no more 3.5 hours in cab every day), brand name is better, entry more exclusive and hopefully the work is better too. My last firm too was good but I was looking for something better from that day itself when I got hired there. But it seems like those guys are hell bent on making me serve my full notice period although I have gone out of my way to create certain process documentations too so that they don’t get in trouble in case the next guy too looks for greener pastures.
The one thought that has since been ringing inside me is the legendary dialogue from Shawshank Redemption,
“Some birds can’t be caged; their wings are just too bright.”

Won the CL tycoons competition on my parent’s anniversary (had cracked the Deloitte intern too on the same day 2 years back) with the hope of getting a fully funded post graduation but as life is, there was a twist in the tale. They changed the prize money. The grueling presentation making work which I had done at the firm is a nice skill to carry forward and helped me a lot for this competition. Hat ja tau song was once again my lucky charm. Will listen to it every time before any such momentous occasions.

Of late, I have realized that I don’t have a life at all and I am drifting away from people at a fast rate. Although a big reason of shying away from meeting people was the shame I felt when the conversation touched my soon to be ex-job and I hope to make amends. Humanity is based on trust and it has been a double edged sword as I have failed people on this front and so have they, circumstances were such. But I still feel, it is all written.
I know I can do a better job with the flow of this post but I guess it is bearable.